Don’t Wait to Be Picked

It seems that these days my fellow sisters are far too happy to be picked by a guy and far too disinterested in doing the picking themselves. It’s pathetic. Why do so many women see themselves as “lucky he picked me” rather than thinking, “Which one will I pick?”

This mentality is also the same one that exists when we see a nice, smart, pretty girl with an absolute jerk. Part of the reason women behave this way has to do with a mentality of “scarcity.” So many women think that you don’t get many chances to grab a boyfriend and that there aren’t enough dating opportunities out there to be too selective. But this mentality only ends up getting women nothing but a relationship that goes nowhere. Too often women with this mindset find themselves in a relationship that will never lead to a real commitment.

How would you feel if you went to the produce market for an apple? You ask the grocer for an apple and he reaches in a pile and hands you one. Would you give any thought to whether or not this apple was sweet or bruised or maybe had a worm in it? Would you feel “grateful” for just having an apple? Wouldn’t you want to pick your apple yourself from the pile of available apples? It seems rather silly when you imagine yourself in a state of blushing thankfulness just to have a random, possibly not very good apple.

If you demanded to pick your own produce, you know that you’d be pretty selective. You probably already have in mind a loose set of criteria that you wanted. And then you’d probably turn over a few apples that you decided to pass on before selecting one.

Now, if you’d give this much attention to the selection of an apple, why wouldn’t you give much more thought to your selection of a man. It really is this simple, ladies. And when you are truly in command of the feeling that you are doing the choosing, you’re not likely to pick the one that’s rotten inside.

But you must own your choosing, see it, and exercise it. This will also force you to take a long look at what you really want in a man, rather than just making do with what strolls by. If you accept that you get to pick your own man, then you know you are one hundred percent responsible for your choice too. You won’t be so likely to pretend you don’t see those “little” flaws or so quick to minimize what should be a giant warning flag.